When did bridal showers and bachelorette parties become entitlements?
Tulla asked:
I agree that every bridal party should care for their bride enough to throw them a shower and a bachelorette party. However, I am in a wedding this year and the bride is acting like these things are entitlements rather than gifts or genstures from her bridal party. She has laid out explicitly what she wants for both and both are pretty over the top. She wanted a shower a year before the wedding because she scheduled to move into her house then and wanted to have everything all at once. She scheduled a ridiculous bachelorette party a week before Christmas and created a detailed itinerary for the day, indicated that we must have t-shirts made with a “catchy phrase” about her. Isn’t that stuff that the bridal party should come up with? I feel like we can’t do anything nice for her because she’s being too specific. Shouldn’t you let the bridal party act on their own? I agree that every bride should give the girls an idea of what they want but not like this.
To give a little more detail to the bachelorette party around the holidays- 30 bars in 8 hours, rented bus and of course the t-shirts with the phrase. She offered to pay if the cost got out of controll.
I agree that every bridal party should care for their bride enough to throw them a shower and a bachelorette party. However, I am in a wedding this year and the bride is acting like these things are entitlements rather than gifts or genstures from her bridal party. She has laid out explicitly what she wants for both and both are pretty over the top. She wanted a shower a year before the wedding because she scheduled to move into her house then and wanted to have everything all at once. She scheduled a ridiculous bachelorette party a week before Christmas and created a detailed itinerary for the day, indicated that we must have t-shirts made with a “catchy phrase” about her. Isn’t that stuff that the bridal party should come up with? I feel like we can’t do anything nice for her because she’s being too specific. Shouldn’t you let the bridal party act on their own? I agree that every bride should give the girls an idea of what they want but not like this.
To give a little more detail to the bachelorette party around the holidays- 30 bars in 8 hours, rented bus and of course the t-shirts with the phrase. She offered to pay if the cost got out of controll.
wow… how childish… I would have “stepped out” of the wedding party by now…. you are very patient! Good Luck
WOW…talking about being high maintenance.
I’m sorry.
Whoo! I thought it was something the MOH organized! Maybe the MOH is taking a back seat or the bride doesn’t feel she’s doing a good job. I know I probably won’t have a shower or a bachelorette party and that’s fine with me, the wedding is what’s important to me anyway.
When she gives you ridiculous commands about how you are supposed to plan her day, let her know “We’ve got it covered”.
Good luck, you’re gonna need it!
LOL i would tell the bride where to stick her bridal shower haha.
No i am a bride and i dont have a bridal party but my partners 2 sisters are doing one for me and all i have told them was to let me know the date so my mum can look after my 2 small kids. They asked me what i wanted and i said no look you choose you are paying and i trust them. would not order them around and tell them how i want it
I have to agree with everything you said. I was in a wedding a while ago and the bride was the same way - very specific in what she wanted. Ridiculous.
Bridezilla has gone well beyond the bounds of good taste, and you’re right to feel put off by her demands. If someone asks what she wants, she should by all means give some pointers…otherwise, she should graciously accept showers/parties for the loving UNREQUIRED gestures they are.
I will give you super turbo special Dave extra bonus props if you and the other bridal party members go see her AS A GROUP in shirts just like the “catchy phrase” ones she demanded, but with the following printed on them:
“WE QUIT”
P.S. Thank you for this story, I am even more grateful for my sane, unselfish, wonderful wife.
Your friend is acting very spoiled and ungrateful. I agree with the bride letting the bridal party know what she would be interested in(If they aren’t into drinking and partying of course they aren’t going to enjoy a night in the club), but when it comes to these types of events…they are not for her to plan. The wedding is her planning and the parties and showers are yours, if you choose to give your friend one. If I were in your choose, I’d plan something with the other girls that you think she would like, maybe incorporating some of the things she has suggested. Also, who has a wedding shower a year before there actually getting married. Defiantly tacky. What if they end up breaking off the engagement. Defiantly wait until a month or so before the wedding to do the shower, and if the week before Christmas is inconvenient move that party too.
She seems rather ungrateful. If I were you I’d have quit by now.
you are absolutely correct, the bride is wrong. it is up to the bridal party, she sounds a bit controlling and a wk before xmas? she sounds kind of selfish. i’m sure bridal party has their own plans running around getting things done for xmas.
I agree that the bridal party should be able to plan the bridal shower and bachelorette party. I think your friend is being a bridezilla!
Hopefully for you- this bride will only get married once!
That said- the bridal party can take her suggestions and it’s up to you guys whether or not you change her itinerary. Or you guys can rebel and do nothing- just let her plan everything and make the silly shirt with catchy phrases about her.
Either way- Good Luck! I hope this bride realizes what great friends she has for supporting her regardless of how she is acting!
I would think that with every thing else she has to worry about she wouldn’t want to worry about this!!!
Wow. She is being a spoilt brat. Bridezilla alert.
Someone needs to sit her down and tell her how it
is. I wouldnt even host a shower for a bride like this.
I never knew being a bridesmaid was such a pain
in the butt!!!
I am not having any stupid “parties” like this.
Good luck to you, but I honestly think she needs
someone to give her a wake up call.
You bridesmaids need to approach Miss Thang as a group and tell her to settle down or she won’t get a bachelorette party at all. Give her specific limits on how much of YOUR time and money she may expend. Also remind her that very finicky people who expect things to be done in a very particular way — had better do it themselves. When other people do things for you, you take what you get and are darn lucky to get it.
Truly, brides and attendants need to start agreeing on this sort of thing in advance, before anyone agrees to accept the “honor” of being a bridesmaid.
You know… weddings are out of control these days. Being a bridezilla used to be a bad thing. Then it was a funny thing. Then it was something to be proud of.
I think what has happened is that weddings are such a big business. Everyone makes a lot of money, so they tell the bride how special they are, and that they deserve everything they want, and if anyone protests, burn them at the stake. So brides make their wedding like the best day of their life. I want to have a nice wedding, but if that’s the best day of my life, I might as well die the next day. I don’t want it to be all downhill from there!
Unfortunately, a bridesmaid’s current job description is: slave. You have to spend TONS of money, but that’s not even the worst part. You have to do everything the bride says or she will think you’re “not a good friend,” or “you don’t care about me.” It’s such a load of B.S.
I think all you can do is try to get through it. You can try to talk to the bride, but she probably won’t listen right now. After the wedding she will return to normal, but right now… don’t expect her to be logical or rational. If you push her to change her ways, be ready for her to pitch a fit, and it might ruin your friendship. My advice is just to try to make it through alive.
They aren’t, sounds like you just have a bridezilla friend. It’s just being immature and selfish.