What’s your take on the bridal party’s dates sitting at the head table?
Newlywed asked:
I’m not really sure how I feel about it. Should we have the dates sit together elsewhere? We don’t want a sweetheart table, but at the same time none of the members of the bridal party are in long term relationships. Our two groups of friends get along well. Does it look weird when the dates sit up there too?
I’m not really sure how I feel about it. Should we have the dates sit together elsewhere? We don’t want a sweetheart table, but at the same time none of the members of the bridal party are in long term relationships. Our two groups of friends get along well. Does it look weird when the dates sit up there too?
Thanks guys!
At my wedding and at all the weddings I’ve been to, the dates were placed at seperate tables. My husband was a part of a wedding and I was placed at a seperate table. It’s weird other wise, but it’s your day, and if that’s how you want to do it, then go ahead.
separate table
I prefer to sit with my date (which is why I bring them in the first place lol!), but if none of your bridesmaids/grooms are in a long term relationship, then it doesn’t matter as much. It is just weird when I bring my fiance along and can’t sit with him. But you also don’t want your head table to be a mile long.
The only people in our wedding party are already couples except for my MOH and I’m having her husband sit with us and her son also because he’s the ring bearer. Her husband will be the only one there not in the wedding.
I don’t know if there’s a direct rule on this, but I’m putting myself in that position, and thinking that if I was in the wedding & brought a date, it would be really awkward to not be seated with him. There’s so much time spent at the head table, toasts, etc. that it would just be a little weird to be waving at my date across the room ha ha!
Also on the other side, if I was the date of someone in the wedding, I really wouldn’t want to sit by myself if I didn’t know anyone else. It would be really uncomfortable for me.
Best of luck with what you decide. You should ask the people in your party how they feel about it, though. Maybe they won’t mind at all.
This is why I don’t like head tables. Everyone (besides the bride and groom, just look like they are on display for everyone to see. Other guests watch them eat, watch them drink and watch them talk. I don’t like it.
My boyfriend has been in many, many weddings and I’ve accompanied him as his date. Thankfully, I’ve never been seated at a head table. I think it would look so awkward if I had.
The dates are not part of the wedding party; therefore, they shouldn’t be put on display like that. I think it’s a bad hostessing etiquette (to make them uncomfortable), also I don’t think your Great Aunt Ann wants to see your best friend’s boyfriend (who she’s never met) sitting center stage.
Since you don’t like sweetheart tables, then your only option is to seat the dates at a separate table. But, keep it close.
However, if this were my wedding; I’d opt for a sweetheart table and let my bridal party members sit with their dates at another table.
But, I would never sit the dates at the head table. I think it looks so awkward and think the dates would be extremely uncomfortable being placed at the head table of a wedding they weren’t in/part of.
Speaking as a date, I’d would love to be seated with my boyfriend. However, I would rather sit at a seperate table without him, rather then at the head table. It’s awkard sitting with people I don’t know, but I can manage light and polite conversation. But, I’d be totally uncomfortable sitting in front of the bride and groom’s whole family and friends, if I wasn’t in the wedding party.
As weird as it may be for the bridal party members, I’d have their dates sit at a separate table. If not, then the head table ends up being really, really long!
The fact that they haven’t been together a long time isn’t the big deal. In fact, I probably *wouldn’t* mention this to your bridal party members, since many of them would probably find this comment….snippy.
Having the dates at the head table lends to an unnecessary awkwardness. It is generally best to choose between the two “evils” (so to speak) - Either do the “sweetheart table” and let your attendants sit with their dates, or separate the date from the attendant.
Other options to the “Sweetheart table” are to have a head table with only the Parents of the couple and the couple themselves, then let the attendants have a reserved table for them and their dates.
I would suggest asking your attendants where they would prefer to sit though, most do not like the idea of leaving their date to fend for themselves and most dates dont appreciate it much either.
My dear Ms. Butterfly. Why, where else are the dates going to sit besides next to their date. What did they bring them along for if not to sit with them, accompany them, flirt with them, etc. at the wedding. When did you ever ask someone out on a date, and then not sit next to them during the meal? If you don’t want them at the head table, then have them sit somewhere else.
Typically I am against splitting up couples. I think it’s awkward for the partner that has to sit alone with a bunch of strangers and I don’t think that is the proper way to treat your best friend’s significant others. My fiance and I are toying with the idea of a sweetheart table for this very reason. Either that, or we’ll have the head table be immediate family and best friends (with spouses). It seems to me though that if the people in your wedding party aren’t dating anyone than this is a non-issue. Let them know up front that if they are planning to bring a date they will not be sat together. If I were a bridesmaid and was thinking about bringing a date, that bit of information would certainly make me think otherwise.
I’d just have parents from both families. Less hassle then the bridal party seated next or at the nearest table to you
I just got married in Aug. I put the dates at the head table if they had them. I had only 3 bridesmaids and 3 groomsmen though. I thought it would be uncomfortable for the dates to be sitting elsewhere. If you are having a large wedding party I may set the guests somewhere else.
I’ve actually never been to a wedding with a head table. Every wedding I have been to has had a sweetheart table or a parents plus bride and groom table, one table for the groomsmen plus dates, and one table for the bridesmaids plus dates. I think that is the more modern choice.
It really depends on how many people are in your wedding party whether or not it would be weird to have the dates there. A table with 5 groomsmen, 5 bridesmaids plus dates with the bride and groom is a HUGE table.
If your bridal party is more than just 2 groomsmen/2 bridesmaids, consider alternative head tables. Like you plus both your parents, you plus your MoH, BM and their dates.
My husband was once best man in a wedding where the dates sat at the head table. Since I was his date (of course!) I sat at the head table too. From my point of view, I was somewhat relieved to be able to sit with my man, since I did not know that many other people at the wedding. But on the other hand, I felt a little weird being up there since I was not in the wedding. (Only the best man, maid of honor, and their dates were at the head table with the bride and groom. The rest of the bridal party sat at the tables with other guests.) You just have to decide what will work best for you.
I would ask your wedding party if they really need an “& guest” invitation since they are going to be busy with the wedding - - plus they aren’t even in the reception during the cocktail hour.
I think it is silly for the party to bring a date if they are not in long-term relationships.
The partners/dates should be seated at a separate table, not at the head table.
I was discussing having a sweetheart table @ my wedding so the party could be seated with their spouses - - The best man for my wedding (who is married & has 2 kids) said “it is your wedding, do what you want, keep the look how you want - - we will all understand”
Go for it! Its what you want.
For my wedding, I’m having my girls and guys sit with their significant others and their family and we have a sweethearts table.
So, have the dates sit up with them. There are NO RULES regarding where their dates should sit.
Do what you want. As a former wedding party member, date of a wedding party member, and bride, I can assure you that dates typically HATE sitting alone while they watch their dates from afar have fun.
We had a sweetheart head table and sat our bridal party with their dates among 2 tables in the front row. Everyone was happy and it worked well.
I think it’s really nice for your bridal party to have them sit with their dates. It depends who you care about more…yourself or your friends/guests.
Good luck!
Nope, not a chance. They have to realize their partners are in the wedding party, and special for that very day, so they will be sitting at the head table.
No one will find this rude or uncommon, so don’t worry about that. No spouses or dates of groomsmen or bridesmaids.