maid of honor bridal shower guest list etiquette?
shelly s asked:
So im the Maid of Honor for my friends wedding and im already feeling the stress of all i have to do, especially since the bride is planning on inviting 60 people to the bridal shower! Now i just need to know if it is within proper etiquette to tell her that I will host a friend shower while someone else in her family can host the family shower therefore drawing guidelines for myself and making that burden easier for me because there will be less people?
So im the Maid of Honor for my friends wedding and im already feeling the stress of all i have to do, especially since the bride is planning on inviting 60 people to the bridal shower! Now i just need to know if it is within proper etiquette to tell her that I will host a friend shower while someone else in her family can host the family shower therefore drawing guidelines for myself and making that burden easier for me because there will be less people?
You could tell her how you feel & ask her what she thinks about the idea.
Sorry chicky, you can’t do that… You can ask her if there’s someone in her family who would love to be involved in hosting the shower while you make sure to invite everyone and handle the food, or you could suggest a pot-luck(where everyone brings a dish for dinner or dessert) if you can’t afford to have the party catered.
You can cheap out on invitations too, go to an arts and crafts store like Micheals or JoAnns Fabrics and buy stuff to make them yourself. At iParty stores they have party packages for bridal showers with activities or little games.
The bottom line is this, if you can’t handle the stress then you have to tell the bride and let her find someone else. If you want to be the maid of honor, well that job comes with a lot of stress. That’s why it has to be a GOOD friend that you would do anything for, because otherwise the stress isn’t worth it.
Look, cheer up and try your best. It’s not like she’s asking you for a kidney, you’re not going to be caring for her sick grandmother… It’s a party, NOT a burden. It’s her day, if you care about your friend then you’ll try to make it as good as possible.
to make it easier on your self ask the bridal party to help with the shower. just because you are maid of honor does not mean you pay for everything. my bridesmaids hosted a shower and my family hosted a bridal brunch and my mom and the bridesmaids gave me a bachlorette party
the week before my wedding.
Absolutely. Just be honest - tell her you can’t afford to throw a party for 60 people. You’d like to but you just can’t swing it will all of the other expenses. You can do a friends party with a few people and her family does one, or her family is going to have to chip in a significant amount if they want everyone at one party.
It’s common ( at least in Atlantic Canada) to have more then one bridal shower.
There is usually one hosted by the wedding party/ Bride’s family
and another hosted by the Grooms family
then there may be some hosted by co-workers etc.
This breaks up large groups and lets both sides have a chance to get together. They’re not always big formal affairs. Often just a light lunch with little or no emphasis on gifts.
I see no issue suggesting to break it down a little so you don’t get swamped with 60 people. And remember not everyone is going to attend. so out of those 60 only 40 may show up.
Are you throwing said shower at a banquet hall? Because there are ways to make a party for 60 very very cheap.
My aunts hosted my shower (3 went in on it and so did my mom…Mom’s aren’t supposed to but she just paid for food lol she wasn’t listed as the host). They printed their own invitations that they designed on their computer. It was the CUTEST thing ever. One of the games was a memory with the bride…again, printed from the computer and after everyone turned them in, they read them outloud and I had to guess who’s it as. Another game was the bobby pin thing…everyone starts with one pin and when you hear someone say your word of choice “Wedding” was ours, you get to steal their pin. Most pins wins. You can have very simple gifts from the dollar store. My aunt works as an engraver so she engraved dollar store glass bowls. Totally cute. Our decorations were easy…plates wtih sand and candles. Very simple. While we were at a banquet hall so it was 10 dollars a plate, you could have a backyard bbq, or even just snacks or finger foods from CostCo.
Don’t feel like you have to give some fancy shower! Improvise with what you can do. Also, where are the other bridesmaids? If you are hosting a shower, they should contribute as well. Mine got lucky since my aunts paid, so they got me a party bus for my bachelorette party!