I have been married before but this is my fiancees first marriage.do I have to have a bridal shower?
djlover4life85 asked:
I do not want a bridal shower but do I have to have one to make his family happy? I am 23 and he is 27.
I do not want a bridal shower but do I have to have one to make his family happy? I am 23 and he is 27.
Did you have one with your first wedding? If so, it would be wrong for you to plan or expect to have one. You get only one bridal shower and only one baby shower in your lifetime.
However, sometimes they spring it on you without asking, and in truth you can’t be blamed if they trick you into it. Unfortunately, your side of the family may blame you anyway, and you may get to the point that you go out looking for a brick wall to bang your head against.
The shower is primarily for the bride, so it shouldn’t matter if it’s his first wedding.
I dont think its a bad thing. if you dont want to and have everything you think you need then dont worry about it but if they are going to make a big fuss over it then why not? lol it cant hurt i mean your not the one who has to do anything.
It’s not appropriate to have a shower the 2nd time around. If people want to give you gifts, they can bring them to the wedding. You only get one bridal shower and one baby shower-by the time the 2nd round comes, you should have everything you need and asking people to give you gifts again is considered rude.
Yes you can plan to have another bridal shower. My stepmum who was married once before my dad. When she was marrying my dad she had a bridal shower.
A wedding shower is designed to help the new couple get things for starting their home/life together. A bridal shower is a celebration for the bride. You’re not required to have either. In the case of the wedding shower, if you already have things you need for a home, it could be seen as just an opportunity for you to “cash in” on the wedding. As for the bridal shower, it is entirely up to you. Is it because you don’t feel like you NEED one, or do you just not want to bother or spend the time with the family? If you just don’t think you need one, perhaps an afternoon getting mani-pedi’s or have a tea party, just an opportunity to spend an afternoon together, without gifts or any of the lame games and such that go into a shower? If you just don’t want to spend time with the people, just don’t have one. Explain that this isn’t your first time and you just don’t think it’s appropriate to do it again, since you don’t need/want anything other than to be married to your fiance.
If someone offers to throw you a shower, allow them too. But, if no one steps up, don’t make a big deal about it.
In a situation like this, your new in-laws might want to throw you a shower, because this is your Fi’s first marriage. They might want to do all the traditional parties and such. So, if they do offer, accept. It would be rude to say no to such a nice gesture.
Since the bridal shower is to make his family happy, accept the offer graciously and smile a lot.
You don’t have to have anything you don’t want to have. I’ve been married 3 times and never had a bridal shower. Just tell your family you appreciate the thought, but you don’t want to do it.
I didn’t have a bridal shower when I got married 3 years ago - I was 27 and didn’t want one; I remember being a little girl and dragged to bridal showers, I never enjoyed them, never understood the point of them - especially since my husband and I had everything we needed. So I skipped the event and all was fine; my husband’s side of the family was aghast at it, but they got over it. My mom was in total support of me and agreed; she’s never been a fan of bridal showers either.
Do what you want because at the end of the day, they will respect you more for it!
That’s your decision. If you don’t feel comfortable having one, then ask them to please drop it. If you want one, then do it.
What does she want? She and her family might have been really looking forwards to doing the shower for you guys.
I’d recommend trying to come to a compromise with your fiancee. If she isn’t that insistent on you two having a shower with her family then tell whoever is offering to host the shower that you’d really rather not have one. Don’t make a scene though. If it’s that important to the family, then be gracious and accept it.
Since you have been married before, I would say that you probably shouldn’t have a bridal shower. It doesn’t matter that it’s his first wedding because the shower is for the bride, not the groom. However, if his mother or sister or someone on his side plans one for you, you should be gracious and go along with it.
Its your choice, but if its his first wedding then i think yes you should have one- his mom and family would probably want to do it for you. Make the process of the marriage special for him too!
Dont think of your past… focus on your future!