Comments on: How does the Hmong bridal price work for someone who is isn’t Hmong?

By: Amara

Amara — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 01:45:20 +0000

It really depends on the bride’s family. Some Hmong parents have become westernized and only require that a banquet be held, while others who are still traditional will ask for a bride price or bride wealth payment as well as a banquet. The practice of paying a bride price has been grotesquely misinterpreted as “buying” a bride, which it is not. In the Hmong culture, the payment of a bride price signifies that the groom’s family will love, cherish and respect her.

In the old days, bride prices were paid with silver bars and livestock, however, times have changed and the standard form of payment now is with cash. The amount usually varies depending on a few factors:

1. Is the bride the oldest, middle or youngest daughter? Or is she the only daughter?
2. What is her level of education?
3. Is she a dutiful daughter?
4. Will the family lose income when she marries?
5. How old is she?

Also note that the bride price amount is decided by the elder male members of the bride’s clan– so it not only signifies her value to her family but also her value to her entire clan.

By: vickie v

vickie v — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 02:17:58 +0000

im hmong, and a girl, and just got married (b/c im pregnant). my parents were christians so they didnt really force the guy to pay. and my bf wasnt hmong, he was chinese. there was problems for them accepting him since we were 5 years apart. and im only 18, which makes a HUGE difference in their point of veiw. My parents didn’t want him to pay, but to throw a wedding to “pronounce” that were married. but unfortunantly my bf didnt have the money to throw it, and eventually my dad soon told me to move out with my chinese bf or “husband” b/c it is really bad for the girl to have the baby in her parents house, its supposely “bad luck” and it will ruin her and her parents reputation forever. so thats why my dad kicked me out. lol. but we were waiting on that to happen, b/c he can support me with a house and evrything but not enough money right now for a wedding, b/c our hmong wedding are huge, and oh yeah, for the groom if your getting married to her, GOOD LUCK, the guys will make sure you get F UP on your wedding day, i mean as in get hella drunk and wasted. best of wishes to you and your gf.

p.s. you cant really negogiate the price with the parents b/c your not hmong, no offence, not even my chinese bf could do a negotiation.

By: HipHop One Luv

HipHop One Luv — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 02:09:38 +0000

if you are nice enough and really want to prove your future mother N Law then pay like 6-9 Grand….but since you are African-American then probably nothing much will happen…but if you want to marry her without paying then…tell her to come to your house and just marry her right at the spot…then her parents will come lookin after her with a bamboo pole…but just tell them that she is not here…this is a tradition Hmong way back in SE Asia but they will just call the cop on you…OG Hmong are stereotype about interracial marriage…if you are a really really good man then everything will workout….peace

By: draugon_lord

draugon_lord — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 20:43:52 +0000

Its like 7000 dollars to give to your girlfreind side of the family because Im hmong and my Big bro got married this year.

By: this is me!

this is me! — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 04:07:39 +0000

i think the best thing for you to do..is ask the girl’s parents. u just need to make them happy and do what they want. they are not going to get the whole hmong wedding thing and they know it, so just ask them. they can’t expect you to learn the whole thing and do it correctly. and you never know, they might like it that they don’t have to do the whole hmong wedding thing because it does cost them a lot of money. i don’t know ur details, but the parents of both sides in a traditional hmong wedding spend a lot of money not only on preparations, but on appreciation to all the people involved. (yes, they give money as gratitude for helping in their child’s wedding).
hope this helps.

p.s… i hope you can drink. Good Luck and Congrats. Marriage is a wonderful thing.

By: azn-guy

azn-guy — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 23:35:58 +0000

im hmong and i’ll do my best to answer this question. Basically the mom and dad is going to give a price for you to pay for the daughter but if u think the price is too high u could try to negotiate with them but basically most of the money is going to the wedding, when it comes to hmong tradition just follow what they tell u what to do and you’ll be fine

By: Teeeheeee!!!!!!!!!!!

Teeeheeee!!!!!!!!!!! — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 03:04:01 +0000

depends on the parents
some parents are more old fashion and insist in the bridal payment
usually if a man marries a hmong women he’ll have to pay
the traditions old but still carried

my uncle is white and he had to pay to marry my auntie

but my friend he’s japanese and his girlfriends parents didn’t have him pay for her

By: ♓ ÇђÚ_4_ℓ♆ƒ∃ ♓ Bears 3-3 Dx

♓ ÇђÚ_4_ℓ♆ƒ∃ ♓ Bears 3-3 Dx — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 23:38:29 +0000

I don’t think it really matters.

But the guy has to pay the girls parents a price money I guess.
My cousin last year, she got married, and her parents just wanted the guys family to do a party. so yeah lol

I also think the wedding is different from other weddings lol
Go there for more info

I have lost lots of knowledge about my Hmong culture Dx

I am so Hmonglish

Hope I helped

P.S.

If you are getting married, Congratulations from me (=
I don’t know you, but you are the second person I know that will marry a Hmong person inter racially ^^

I’m dating a mixed Japanese and White ^^