Comments on: Combined thank you notes for bridal shower and wedding?

By: ?

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 20:52:51 +0000

I wouldn’t mind receiving a single card IF:

1) it is prompt (within a month of the wedding)
2) it spends a nice, personalized paragraph on EACH gift/event.

I would actually prefer a very personal two-in-one thank you to two “form letter” type thank yous that could be generic to any guest.

By: Kirsten

Kirsten — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 03:35:07 +0000

I think you need to send two cards…..they came to two events, and presumably gave you 2 gifts. Each gift deserves 2 cards.

By: grasshopper1977

grasshopper1977 — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 03:44:43 +0000

you have to write 2. one for the wedding and one for the shower.

By: amyhpete

amyhpete — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 22:08:40 +0000

You should have already sent out your shower thank yous the day after the shower.

Failing that, I would send a card for both.

They made time to attend and bring a gift to both your shower and your wedding. You can make time to thank them for each kind gesture separately.

You could make a pile of these “twofers” and send the wedding thank you in another week or two if you prefer.

By: riversconfluence

riversconfluence — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 05:27:01 +0000

Q is right, I would be thrilled just to actually get a thanks, let alone 2 of them! But everyone is right, a separate thanks is the etiquette.
You can make the cards yourself on line for cheap, or go shopping and get some discount ones, or go to Hallmark and get nice ones. And by the way, the old etiquette is not to have the words “thank you” emblazoned across the front of the card. It was considered tacky and cheap. Yeah, try to find one now that does not have it!
Look at it this way, you will be spending less than a dollar per gift to send a thanks, and the very person that you send the nice thanks card to just might be someone who will be invited to your baby shower, or house warming party. And don’t think they won’t remember your kindness sending a proper thanks card. They will, and will reward you with the next gift. I know I would, and have. I gave the daughter of a friend [who does not have a lot of family, and has never met me in person, I am friends with her mother], and seated me and a male friend of her Mom in the front row of the wedding, and I sat at the head guest table. Poor thing had to cancel her outdoor wedding and move it inside. I gave her an extra $20 cause I felt sorry for her. And she was so nice to let her Mom have the front row of seating I will send her another $30 as a extra gift, she is moving to another city to continue her education. All because her Mom taught her right, and she will send thanks out. She called her Mom a couple weeks ago, upset that people will think she is bad with the delay in sending the thanks cards out, due to the move. She is getting more money from me, the day I get the card, she gets the exta money.

By: QPfan

QPfan — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 19:12:27 +0000

I do agree with the others that the proper thing to do is to send two notes. However, as the giver of the gift, I would be thrilled to receive one thank you for both gifts, rather than NO thank you at all! Which is what I have rec’d for several showers and weddings I have attended lately. There is no excuse for that rudeness. The last shower I attended, I rec’d a thank you in the form of a xeroxed copy of a thank you— everyone got the same thank you, exactly. They tried, I guess, but just didn’t quite get it right.
Send two; if you can’t afford the postage to send two, write one for each gift, but then I would think it’s ok to include them both in the same envelope if it’s going to the same person.
Bottom line, thank you for sending personal thank yous!

By: rdavies1987

rdavies1987 — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 14:04:44 +0000

I have the same problem! My shower was 2 weeks before the wedding (Sep 12th). By the time I get the shower thank you cards out, they won’t get them until a few days before the wedding. But I’m still sending out two sets. I don’t want to look cheap, and ettiquette says to.

By: Leannain

Leannain — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 10:52:29 +0000

absolutely not

They took the time to attend both functions and bring you two gifts you OWE them two separate thank you notes

By: SuzyQ

SuzyQ — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 12:01:34 +0000

Don’t do it. It will make you look cheap. They didn’t give you one gift and say that it covered the shower and the wedding did they? Send two cards and give each gift a proper Thank You.

By: tracy

tracy — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 21:58:03 +0000

Two.

Send one for the Shower which is from you, send another for the Wedding which is from you and your husband.

Best Wishes.